Mentor Blogs

Upon their arrival in August 2023, I mentor a family of three (dad in Turkey) from Belarus. They got their visa from Tibilisi, Georgia through the US Embassay there as the one in Minsk is closed. Additionally, they now live in central Columbus and the daughter is moving back to Belarus in April and is completing a digital design certification through Columbus State and the daughter in a freshman at a high school in Columbus.

10/23

Myself as well as the mentee cordinator headed over to the familys home, upon arrival we got to know each other and the girls more. The mom was elsewhere and we had a conversation with the girls who I will be mentoring. They are from Belarus and here because of their grandparents. The grandparents have their green card as they have been in the states for over five years. They stay closely knit with Ukranian/ Russian community in Columbus. The mother came over with the daughters (16 and 21 years old), after being told of the education and prosperity opportunities in the United States. The mentee cordinator left and we went over basics, the daughter recently had her 21st birthday (did not do anything) and has a fiance back in Minsk. Liyana has been having a tough time being away from him and wants to move somewhere in Europe with him. She is trying to enroll in SNHU but wants to work part time somewhere related to graphic design but was on a different career path back in Minsk and now is switching to a new path. Majors and minors are new to her as well as credits for college in general, we need to figure out how to convert her hours to the states/ see if anything can move over. As of now she has placement tests which seem to take the place, as they need to see where her education level is. She wants to work part time but said something about her family only being able to make $30,000/year (unsure) and wants to get paid in cash because that is how it was in Belarus. The mom is getting $1,300/ month at her job (retirement home) and are getting $450/ month through the resettlement agency. They know their benefits through the resettlement agency last until February but are a very kind and genuine family and are also frusturated as all the feelings are new and fresh.

10/29

The younger daughter was talking some about school and what this is like for her. She has mentioned how she is in a ELS program and has a specific teacher for this. She has also said how her and this guy were looking at a globe in the classroom and he asked where she was from and she said Belarus and he had no idea where that was. She said he kept looking around the globe and didn't know where it was. She has not mentioned anyone being mean to her or looking at her differently for not being from here. They also shared a story about how a house next to their grandparents (downtown Columbus) got raided. They talked about a helicopter and a bunch of police and how they watched the whole thing go down. 

11/1

The eldest daughter is frusturated with the education system and how it operates. She attened Minsk State Linguistic University in Minsk, Belarus for three years prior before coming to the states. She is not sure what path to take and has some concerns/ questions.

1. She wants a graphic design mentor, before her focus was in English and in general linguistics with interpretation, this university offers seven academic languages. She was to go with the career she is passionate about now and not the path she feels required to take, which the education opportunities here may allow her to do. 
2. She wants someone to help her/ answer questions about potentional career paths in graphic design. 
3. What degree should she aquire, she does not like the length of the bachelors degree and wants a bachelors degree but a completion time of two years. She ideally does not want an associate degree, or should she pursue no further education in the US. 
4. She has spoken to an advisor through University of New Hampshire online and likes the virtual format. She also took a placement test through Columbus State and placed into English Composition 1. She wants to figure out how to transfer her three years plus placement tests to a university. 
5. The concept of General Education courses are confusing as these take up a large amount of the credits for a degree, she wants to know what these are.

Additional questions are about a green card and how quickly she can get this card, so she could travel back and forth between the US and Belarus. She has an i-94 card (alien status, arrival/departure stamp, who are they staying with...). Her grandparents have a green card but relationship (will not disclose). 

She is upset why education is so difficult to understand as the younger daughter has been adjusting to the increased courseload of high school in the states. The younger daughter has mentioned how much more work she has here than back at "home." 

The older daughter also likes the idea of an online education as she wants to return to Europe, she could complete a US degree but in Belarus (to be with fiance)- still wants green card. 

11/13

I want this to be a honest blog about the ups and downs of being a mentor. It has been difficult setting boundaries with the girls about how much I can help them. They have been asking a lot of me and to help them with legal and financial issues which is not my role. It is hard as even when I explain my role the lines are not clear between me and what their case worker and other supporter do. Additionally, they ask me to get them a job, which as much as I would love to just snap my fingers and give me one, all I can do is help them along the way. I also want them to develop the skills to live in Columbus and navigate the city and the US in general. They want me to help them get a green card, get into school, find people in graphic design... which I can do I think I got overwhelmed because there are so many questions (which is normal I would have the same). My problem is I want to do everything in my power to help them but I can physically only do so much. I have sat down with the older daughter and combed through her transcript, her placement test, and the course requirements for different universities. We have went through SNHU credit/ course requirements and I explained the differences and what it all means. The younger daughter is shy and there is a power dynamic in the family (will not say any more), the younger daugher also speaks less English than the older daughter which makes her experience that much harder. The mom can understand some Spanish and give basic short responses back but English is not profficent as her primary language is still Russian. We brought in another mentor who I will be working with/ directing, she has profficency in Russian which is helpful, and just someone else to help as well. 

It has been interesting to watch the cultural differences come alive in my time spent with them, as their clothing is also a lot more formal and fashionable and they make fun of how casual I dress when we go places/ who they want to be surrounded by. They want fellow Russian speakers/ culture; the older daughter said she hung out with a couple she met and they were with two other people. She said they were Black and Mexican and that she will not be hanging out with them again. She has met people through instagram and had a strange ecounter with a door-to-door salesman for solarpannels, she has not had this experience before and said he was being creepy to her and wanted to come inside her grandparents house (they have a personal place and grandparents have a place). The younger daughter showed me her projects from ceramics and it was nice to see she was smiling while showing me and was proud of them. We went over her English homework as this is the most difficult and she still stressed how much time she is spending on schoolwork, how she never stops.

11/20

They went to NYC- did not meet. 

12/3

Older daughter wants an attorney? (trying to figure this out). It was the younger daughters birthday so she got a lip piercing and concert tickets, she said her teachers made her brownies or did something for her. When they were in New York, they met up with a faimly from Ukraine who are also immigrants living in Chicago area, the other family has two sons (25 and 15 years old); they also had fun going around and seeing museums. Their case worker is in the process of quitting which has been difficult as many of these concerns for him are rerouted to me. She met with a professor who told her to possibly get private lessons in graphic design and take a few classes from a university, she is thinking about this instead of a full degree as she wants to go back to Belarus in the Spring. She has mentioned going to Belarus for even a month. In high school they had exams four times a year in Belarus, but here the younger daughter has been very nervouse about ecams. The older daughter is getting experience through the resettkement agency as a intern position for designing different posters and such for them. 

12/10

The older daughter wants to document her marriage, but not here, she found out it is not possible, so she needs to get married in Belarus. She is thinking about doing a digital design certificate through Columbus State, this semester she would be taking a survey course and introduction to graphic design, the survey is in person and other is online (2000s levels). The accomodations in financial aid have not been settled so she is only taking two classes starting January because they need further documents on the universites end.

We talked about holidays and thanksgiving and they said pumpkin pie or anything pumpkin is not a thing in Belarus and they said its gross, and about their salad with grapes and sausage meats in Belarus. They miss meat from Belarus because it does not taste good her, they said the aftertaste is better there and general taste. They have no holiday related to food as we have Thanksgiving. We talked about Belarusian food: Borscht with sour cream, bun and inside there is cinnamon, cream. Potatoe pancakes with sour cream, buns with cottage cheese inside (sweetened). Fish under a Winter Coat dish (translated). They said American mayonesie is weird, and the texture is rough and salty and in Belarus it is in packet

They said Christmas is nonexistant in Belarus but Easter occurs. You boil an egg for yourself and a friend, you beat them from the top and bottom and if it smashed you lose. You want the strongest egg, someone can grab a wooden eggs- they also paint boiled eggs and put sticker son them/ religious stickers, they said they are propaganda egges, and you decorate them with Gods face.

12/12

The other mentor, myself, and two girls went to Michaels to get crafts. We went and they laughed at my slipper in pubic and casual clothes, we walked around for a while and it is odd because people do a double take. We all picked out crafts and went back and listened to music they listen to in Belarus/ Belarusian music.The older daughter started the internship position which gets paid based upon products produced but she wants more money than what this is going to provide. She is happy to have something to fill her days nonetheless. It has been rewarding to see the younger daughter start to come out of her shell and get away from school work even if it for a little. We discussed the need for resumes and job opportunities for the mom/ the older daughter because she wants to switch her current role. The mom is unwilling to learn English which has made it hard to explain what jobs (if any) she can get/ how an interview goes here. The mom worked in the field of a hepatologist in Belarus, she wants the same role here, the grandparents once again said to pursue education (unwilling). The grandma works at a retirement role and does not speak much English, the mom does not want to do the same. When I was with them they made jokes about Black people and Judaism. I think it is important to call out these predujices and cultural differences. 

12/20

I have started to review her resume and linkedin/ how to help the mom with her resume. The other mentor took the moms because it is all in Russia and I reviewed and gave feedback on the older daughters. 

12/27

The older daughter and myself started to review her resume and what employers in the US look for on these, she has a lot of words on hers and it was very long so I worked with her to condense this. I pulled up documents which explained a resume in simple terms, I showed her a mock resume and mine as well. We went through her Linkedin and previous experience/ what is applicable to graphic design. 

This quickly got interrupted as the other mentor was translating with the moma nd needed our help. We started to ask the mom questions and realized she can understand more English than we previously thought. I observed them going over the moms resume and assisted as needed. We just generally asked her what she wanted to do and how she wants to do this. We offered to help her learn English or go over an example interview. We described a few jobs which do not require a lot of English, but she wants to go into the medical field which we found difficult to explain that she needed to know more English- we know she could work for a company such as Amazon but that is not what she wants to do. They wants to know their benefits with the resettlement agency and how much they can make which still getting these benefits/ the exact amount which I could not provide at that moment. I was told they should have recieved a letter from (a county in) Columbus about benefits and if they still get them through the city itself, they had not recieved any letter. Also, we spoke on the phone with their case manager which ended up only leaving us more confused, we tried to help them reach their points of contact but it was a difficult situation. We set up a meeting with their lawyer who ended up not following through the next day. 

The family had concerns about being able to pay rent with their current salaries, their program through the resettlement agency ends in February. They went to go get groceries and their EBT card was cut off,  they had $7 left and could not get the groceries they needed. The lawyer then told us to call Franklin county but the resettlement agency is the one who aids with funds/ financial aid mostly. We end up finding out the mom is going to work at the same spot as the grandma in the upcoming year. The older daughter keeps asking me for a higher pay, I told her to contact her boss and went over skills for how to do so/ how to approach this. On my end, I was researching, sending emails, and calling their points of contacts to emphasizing they need answers to these questions.

1/4

The older daughter sent a picture of an eviction notice as they do not have money to pay their rent. This sent me into panic mode because the lawyer/ case worker were supposed to handle the issue but it was not handled. We sent this to the head of the financial sector of the resettlment agency who handles their specific aid program. I reached out to the mentee cordinator and the issue became resolved after me stressing the issue. The older daughter felt very sad as she feels unheard and unseen, she feels like everyone is avoiding her. She feels scared to talk to anyone from the agency. It is hard because I see her side but then I read her texts and their is lack of communication from the family and the needs have to be cleared through me. 

1/9-1/22

We facetimed (other mentor and myself) the older daughter because she said she wants to move back to Belarus soon. Columbus State said she could complete online courses, she is going to Minsk to live with her fianace (lets just say the family is not happy). Her mindset has been fixed in this state since she arrived and I have been trying to make her situation better but she is still unhappy here and wants to leave. We are trying to figure out how to go forward with the older daughters needs versus the mom and younger daughter. The older daughter wants financial aid through the univesity before starting classes, she also has been consistently talking about the process of going through American airports and how she is scared they will take her/ do something bad to her; we tried to reassure her and tell her what the process may look like for her. 

1/31

The previous meetings have all been logistical and legal stuff so it has become overwhelming on all parties. The mom does not want to meet anymore as she feels she has a job now and does not need help and will reach out if she has questions. The older daughter has been pushing us out so I have been trying to balance giving her space and still aiding/ being her friend. Eventually I told her we needed to meet, she came back saying she no longer needed my help which was kinda a slap to the face. They are all very stubborn sometimes and want to be left alone/ communication can be difficult and sometimes their is miscommunication on what my role is so they say they do not need help but then say something else. I think in this situation they just needed a break from all of the stress recently, as all the meetings have been kind of serious and stressful. We brought in the mentee cordinator when she went in for her internship, they worked out an agreement for us to meet every other week instead of every week and to make it an activity. She also has been stressed as she decided to get a graphic design certification through Columbus State so her courses have started and one is in-person. From my point of view the younger daughter is still struggling with the school adjustment, which is hard to help because she is a pretty closed book.

2/15

The older daughter asked for the other mentor and myself to use paypal to help buy her wedding dress, we said no. We have been trying to figure out activties to do together. The younger daughter reached out for help with physical science homework. We regrouped and are ready to move forward.

2/18

The girls, the other mentor and myself went to PetLand (fun fact they had a pet rat in Belarus). They hugged the other mentor and myself when we saw them. The older daughter said her classes were easy and that she already knows pretty much everything. She wanted to send a letter to Belarus but they are not allowing mail in due to the 2021 Ukranian conflict, there are many restrictins in place; this shows the similiarities between Belarus and Russia. The older daughter is leaving in April to go be with her fiance, she is still very nervous about traveling alone and what could happen/ what she envisions happening. The younger daughter said she went to Starbucks with a friend after school and then went back to the friends house and had pizza, the family invited her to a movie soon (which made me very happy to hear).  The older daugter is going to Tibilisi, Georgia when reuntited with her fiance as there is no US Embassy in Belarus. They are going to see about refugee status for the husband so they both can potentially visit. The older daughter is still hanging out with the couple mentioned a while ago, they got Chinese food and walked around; she also ordered her wedding dress. She says she is a month ahead of schoolwork, then we just played with the dogs and walked to the grocery store next door. A group of guys kept walking around and continuously staring/ making a point to make it obvious; the other mentor and I both brought it up to each other. This is my exact reason for sharing these stories, I want to spread understanding and kindness. The beauty of the world is the people who make it, there is more than enough room for all of us, and I want others to see the beauty in the world for what is really is. 

 3/4

The older daughter still has traveling anxities, she really thinks the US is going to take her because she is an immigrant- unsure what process was like from Belarus to the US/ if something happened. She leaves April 7th and is going to Tibilisi for 2 weeks and then Belarus after

3/16

Older daughter is sick so we are unable to meet.